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Thursday, June 3, 2010

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Thursday 13: Classics going Gore

At first, when I saw the first couple of these hybrids classic novels, I thought, well.. some fan gone nuts and was designing the cover for fun.. but then again I realized they happened to be real! Of course! I love to read some of these some day! The list below are not in any specific order.

1.Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!
By; Jane Austen, Seth Grahame-Smith

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains." So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

2.Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim: Mark Twain's Classic with Crazy Zombie GoodnessAdventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim: Mark Twain's Classic with Crazy Zombie Goodness
By; Mark Twain, W. Bill Czolgosz

Free at last! Free at last! This ain't your grandfather's Huckleberry Finn. It's nineteenth century America and a mutant strain of tuberculosis is bringing its victims back from the dead. Sometimes they come back docile, and other times vicious. The vicious ones are sent back to Hell, but the docile ones are put to work as servants and laborers. With so many zombies on the market, the slave trade is nonexistant. The black man is at liberty, and human bondage is no more. Young Huckleberry Finn has grown up in a world that shuns the N-word, with its scornful eye set on a new class of shambling, putrid sub-humans: The Baggers. When his abusive father comes back into his life, Huck flees down the river with Bagger Jim, seeking a life of perfect freedom. When the pox mutates once again, causing even the tamest of baggers to become bloodthirsty monsters, the boy Finn is forced to question his relationship with his dearest, deadest friend. In this revised take on history and classic literature, the modern age is ending before it ever begins. Huckleberry Finn will inherit a world of horror and death, and he knows the mighty Mississippi might be the only way out...

3.The War of the Worlds Plus Blood, Guts and ZombiesThe War of the Worlds Plus Blood, Guts and Zombies
By; H.G. Wells, Eric S. Brown

The invasion begins . . . and the dead start to rise. There's panic in the streets of London as invaders from Mars wreak havoc on the living, slaying the populace with Heat-Rays and poisonous clouds of black smoke. Humanity struggles to survive against technology far beyond its own, meeting fear and death at every turn. But that's not the only struggle mankind must face. The dead are rising from their graves with an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Friends, neighbours and loved ones lost to the war of the worlds are now the enemy and the Earth is forever changed. It's kill or be killed, if you want to survive, otherwise you might become one of the walking dead yourself.

4.The Undead World of Oz: L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Complete with Zombies and MonstersThe Undead World of Oz: L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Complete with Zombies and Monsters
By; L. Frank Baum, Ryan C. Thomas

One day, on a peaceful farm in Kansas, a tornado appeared. The storm raged and ripped the house from the ground. Inside sat a little girl named Dorothy and her dog Toto. The house spun. The winds roared. The tornado showed no mercy, until . . . The house landed in a strange and magical land called Oz. But that's where the fairytale ends and the nightmare begins. The Wicked Witch of the West has cast a spell on the Land of Oz, a spell that brings the dead back to life. Only the Great Wizard in the Emerald City can stop this curse, but he has never been seen. It's up to Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Woodman to journey through this dangerous land of hungry undead and savage monsters and find him in the hopes of bringing life back to Oz. Come join hands with them as they travel down the Yellow Brick Road and see if you can make it to the Emerald City . . . alive.

5.Robin Hood and Friar Tuck: Zombie Killers - A Canterbury TaleRobin Hood and Friar Tuck: Zombie Killers - A Canterbury Tale
By; Paul A. Freeman

Medieval civilization was under threat from the undead. When lion-hearted Richard ruled the roost Of England, he decided that to boost His regal reputation he should mount A war to wrest from Turkish men the fount Of Christendom; yet in that desert land A zombie plague emerged from ’midst the sand. A necromancer’s alchemistic spell Reanimated corpses bound for Hell (And even bound for Heaven’s pearly gate). Soon after ’twas apparent that the fate Of all on Earth--the evil and the good-- Was in the hands of Robin of the Hood Whose outlaw men, along with Friar Tuck, Against rampaging hordes of zombies struck. They fought to save the likes of you and I, Not caring that one slip might make them die. Their tale lies here, within this humble book-- I pray you’ll spare the time to take a look.

6.Little Vampire WomenLittle Vampire Women
By; Louisa May Alcott, Lynn Messina
"Christmas wont be Christmas without any corpses."

The dear, sweet March sisters are back, and Marmee has told them to be good little women. Good little vampire women, that is. That's right: Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy have grown up since you last read their tale, and now they have (much) longer lives and (much) more ravenous appetites.

Marmee has taught them well, and so they live by an unprecedented moral code of abstinence . . . from human blood. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy must learn to get along with one another, help make society a better place, and avoid the vampire hunters who pose a constant threat to their existence. Plus, Laurie is dying to become a part of the March family, at any cost. Some things never change.
This horrifying—and hilarious—retelling of a timeless American classic will leave readers craving the bloodthirsty drama on each and every page.

7.Little Women and WerewolvesLittle Women and Werewolves
By; Louisa May Alcott, Porter Grand

A literary landmark—the original, suppressed draft of the classic novel!

Little Women is a timeless classic. But Louisa May Alcott’s first draft—before her editor sunk his teeth into it—was even better. Now the original text has at last been exhumed. In this uncensored version, the March girls learn some biting lessons, transforming from wild girls into little women—just as their friends and neighbors transform into vicious, bloodthirsty werewolves!

Here are tomboy Jo, quiet Beth, ladylike Amy, and good-hearted Meg, plus lovable neighbor Laurie Laurence, now doomed to prowl the night on all fours, maiming and devouring the locals. As the Civil War rages, the girls learn the value of being kind, the merits of patience and grace, and the benefits of knowing a werewolf who can disembowel your teacher.

By turns heartwarming and blood-curdling, this rejuvenated classic will be cherished and treasured by those who love a lesson in virtue almost as much as they enjoy a good old-fashioned dismemberment.

Includes the original letter from Alcott’s editor, telling her not to even think about it!

8.Android Karenina (Quirk Classic)Android Karenina (Quirk Classic)
By; Ben H. Winters

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters co-author Ben H. Winters is back with an all-new collaborator, legendary Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy, and the result is Android Karenina an enhanced edition of the classic love story set in a dystopian world of robots, cyborgs, and interstellar space travel.

As in the original novel, our story follows two relationships: The tragic adulterous love affair of Anna Karenina and Count Alexei Vronsky, and the more hopeful marriage of Nikolai Levin and Princess Kitty Shcherbatskaya. These characters live in a steampunk-inspired world of robitic butlers, clumsy automatons, and rudimentary mechanical devices. But when these copper-plated machines begin to revolt against their human masters, our characters must fight back using state-of-the-art 19th-century technology and a sleek new model of ultra-human cyborgs like nothing the world has ever seen.

Filled with the same blend of romance, drama, and fantasy that made the first two Quirk Classics New York Times best sellers, Android Karenina brings this celebrated series into the exciting world of science fiction.

9. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls (Quirk Classics)Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls (Quirk Classics)
By; Steve Hockensmith

In this prequel to Seth Grahame-Smith's Jane Austen revamp Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the town of Meryton has grown quiet and complacent while the long-lived zombie menace lays dormant. Taking place five years before Bingley moves into Netherfield, and sightings of "unmentionables" have become routine, this story kicks off with a certain Mr. Ford sitting up in the middle of his own funeral. In response, the Bennet sisters begin intensive training in the deadly arts with their warrior father and a new Master. Their neighbors, much slower on the uptake, are variously dismembered, disillusioned, and eventually convinced to prepare for a terrifying final confrontation. With a sure grasp of Austen's characters and the social structures of the times, Hockensmith is loyal to the material's roots but, divorced from any particular text, he's able to take Grahame-Smith's silly, raunchy, violent tone much farther than in the first volume. Mixing taught horror-movie action with neo-Austen meditation on identity, society, and romance, this happy sacrilege is sure to please fans of Grahame-Smith's original mash-up. 15 b&w illustrations.

10.Sense and Sensibility and Sea MonstersSense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
By; Jane Austen

This latest effort to combine Jane Austen mania and pop culture horror takes the same format as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies minus the innovation of being the first to do so. Using the familiar plot structure of Austen's first novel, and a few of the most famous lines, the mannered life of early nineteenth century gentry is stripped of witty dialogue and replaced with monsters, vulgarity, and violence. When Mr. Dashwood is eaten by a hammerhead shark his daughters Marianne and Elinor, along with their sister and mother, are sent to Pestilent Island where they meet Sir John Middleton, owner of the islands, and squid-faced Colonel Brandon. Marianne is rescued from a giant octopus by Mr. Willoughby, causing her to fall in love with him. Meanwhile, Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars who is engaged to the evil Lucy Steele. Readers who found humor in the contrast between Austen's familiar novel and the addition of zombies will probably welcome this unevenly written effort.

11.Queen Victoria: Demon HunterQueen Victoria: Demon Hunter
A. E. Moorat

Add Queen Victoria to the rapidly growing coterie of classic and historical characters forced to battle supernatural evil (see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim, etc.), as pseudonymous author Moorat combines Victorian manners, gallows humor and grindhouse gore into a satisfying historical adventure. After ascending to the throne, 18-year-old Victoria has her hands full with matters of state and the heart; when she learns of a clandestine war between humans and demons, however, Victoria's responsibility to protect the Empire takes on violent, visceral dimensions. With help from a Scooby Gang of rough-and-tumble warriors known as the Protektorate, the self-possessed young monarch must battle demons (a catch-all category including werewolves, zombies and many others), quell a brewing insurrection and protect her beloved Prince Albert, all while maintaining her royal decorum and a stiff upper lip. Moorat infuses his tale with enough bravura and over-the-top action to lift it above a horde of similar projects; readers able to stomach the deliriously bloody goings-on will find plenty to enjoy. END

12.Abraham Lincoln: Vampire HunterAbraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
By; Seth Grahame-Smith

Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother's bedside. She's been stricken with something the old-timers call "Milk Sickness."

"My baby boy..." she whispers before dying.

Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother's fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.

When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, "henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose..." Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation..


13. Alice in Zombieland: Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' with Undead MadnessAlice in Zombieland: Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' with Undead Madness;
By; Lewis Carroll & Nicholas Cook

Can Alice escape Zombieland before the Dead Red Queen catches up to her? When little Alice falls asleep, she finds herself in an undead nightmare of rotting flesh and insanity. Following a talking rat, she ventures further into this land of zombies and monsters. There's also something else troubling poor Alice: her skin is rotting and her hair is falling out. She's cold and there's the haunting feeling that if she remains in Zombieland any longer, she might never leave and forever be caught between life and death. Have a seat at the table for the Tea Party of your life and explore the wondrous adventure that is Zombieland.
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1 comments:

  1. I really don't want to read any of these books, perhaps except for the one about Lincoln and Queen Victoria.

    I do enjoy stories about vampires etc. but they have to be stories of their own not some rip-off of a classic :)

    ReplyDelete

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